A Massachusetts divorce can cause problems such as stress, anxiety, depressionand panic attacks according relationship psychotherapists. There’s a lot to think about during a divorce, particularly looking after children, telling your parents and dealing with their emotions, moving house, dividing possessions, setting up bank accounts, and continuing your job.
Here are seven crucial steps for coping during a Massachusetts divorce:
1. Accept the reality of your situation. Ask yourself questions about what happened and try to understand what went on beneath the surface. For example, if the other person had an affair, try to understand what led them to do that. Similarly, if you grew apart, think about how you’ve changed since you first met.
2. Manage your emotions. The most common emotions people experience during a divorce are grief, fear, anger, resentment, doubt, regret and guilt. At this early stage in particular you need help and support from friends. You also need to give yourself time and space. Some techniques of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can really help, such as changing negative thoughts and learning how to be optimistic.
3. Develop strategies for personal growth. Recognize your strengths and your weaknesses, and develop an action plan. An action plan involves setting goals. For example, if you know you’ll struggle with loneliness, decide how you will deal with this. This will build your self-esteem and help you manage your feelings, such as missing someone.
4. Let friends and family help. Identify your support network. Think about the people who are already there for you. But also recognize that some relationships may be challenging, such as friends who will be hard to socialize with or a family member who might say: “I told you it’d never work.” Think about the relationships you want to strengthen. If you’re fairly good friends with someone you work with, see them more often. Or maybe you could renew contact with someone who has been through a divorce.
5. Deal with money and practical matters. Think about your financial and practical resources and challenges. This might include how to release some of the equity in your house, or how you can make money during the free time you now have. It may also include things as simple as learning how to use a lawnmower or the washing machine, or how to cook for the children when they’re staying with you. It’s often these practical things that make people feel like they can’t cope.
6. Communicate effectively with your ex. This is another area that can cause a huge amount of stress. If you have children, learning to communicate effectively is very important. This involves trying not to get angry, managing your emotions, and entering into conversations with a clear idea of what you want to achieve without getting drawn into old arguments.You may want to consider family mediation. service near you.
7. Set goals for the future. It’s important to adopt the belief that “today is the first day of the rest of your life”. This could mean being single, being satisfied, dating and finding love again, as well as realizing your hopes, dreams and ambitions.
Divorce is an opportunity for change. There are lots of things you can’t do if you’re married. People compromise and put things to one side, such as hobbies or even careers. A divorce is an opportunity to think about the things you loved but might have let go of, while recognising that you can reshape your future.
At the Law Offices of Renee Lazar, we recognize that every divorce and family is unique. It is why we offer personalized and comprehensive services that are designed to suit your needs.
Whether pursuing a mediated or litigated divorce, we have the skills and experience you need. Learn more about how we can assist with your case by scheduling a FREE one hour no obligation consultation. Call 978-844-4095 today.