Lack of Gratitude in a Massachusetts Marriage May Increase Risk of Divorce

| Mar 10, 2021 | Divorce |

Gratitude continues to shine as a behavior that contributes to our happiness and well-being. Yet, it seems we often forget to be thankful on a regular basis. Despite it being an amazingly simple act to perform.

Gratitude has been found to be a key predictor in happiness. Not to mention the many other health benefits that science has found recently.

Research from the University of Georgia now shows how gratitude affects marriage.

Wedding Bliss?
A Massachusetts marriage can be wonderful. That doesn’t mean it’s always rainbows and butterflies, though. Like any relationship it takes work.

Fights are going to happen. It’s impossible to see eye to eye on everything. How you handle yourself and your behavior can go a long way in influencing marital outcomes. These are the types of things that the research touches on.

In a recent study the researchers found that gratitude not only plays a role in marriage happiness, but it can also help alleviate symptoms of negative situations.

Researchers found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last.

Their results show that spousal expression of gratitude was the most significant and consistent predictor of marital quality.

When the Going Gets Tough
An interesting and useful part of the research was finding how it protects couples against divorce. Not only that, but it also protects a woman’s marital commitment from the effects of poor communication during conflict.

Importantly, it was found that when couples are engaging in a negative conflict pattern like demand/withdrawal, expressions of gratitude and appreciation can counteract or buffer the negative effects of this type of interaction on marital stability.

The “demand/withdrawal” that the researchers are talking about is a common behavior in couple conflict. It occurs when one partner demands, nags, or criticizes. The other person then responds by either withdrawing or avoiding confrontation.

This is a problem and can lead to a breakdown in communication and a lower quality of marriage.

Ray of Hope
Conflict is not only tough, but it can be an emotional mess. Gratitude can not only break the nasty cycle that can occur with stressful situations, but can have a protective effect as well.

Gratitude is a wonderful and simple strategy for marriage. Especially if you’re not great at communicating in a conflict.

So how can you accomplish this?
In the study, here’s how they measured gratitude. It was the degree of how much a person felt appreciated by their spouse, valued by their spouse, and acknowledged when they did something nice for their spouse.

So to practice gratitude, find ways to do those 3 things. Show your partner that you appreciate them. Show them that you value them. And when they do something nice for you, simply tell them that you noticed and are aware of their kind act.

Understanding Conflict
While the study itself focused on fights concerning financial matters, the lessons learned can apply to other areas as well.

If you want to know more about reaching, you should learn about underlying concerns and what a partner really wants in a conflict.

All couples have disagreements and argue. And, when couples are stressed, they are likely to have more arguments. What distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don’t is not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis.

Should you be in the midst of a divorce or contemplating divorce, contact the Law Offices of Renee Lazar at 978-844-4095 to schedule a FREE one hour no obligation consultation.

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