What makes a Massachusetts man “good”? Is it how he controls his emotions? How he loves? How he communicate? We say what makes him “good’ is the way that he treats his partner. Romantic relationships are the most intimate kinds of relationships that a person can have. They can bring out the best in people just like they can bring out the worst. While good versus bad isn’t definitive and is more like a grey space that can depend on a case-by-case basis, the following are non-negotiables that no good man would ever do in a relationship.
A Good Man Would Never Invade Your Privacy
No matter how he justifies it, there’s never a good excuse for crossing boundaries. A man should respect your need for space, your private conversations, and your personal connections. He should never feel the need to justify checking your phone when you’re not watching, or knowing where you are at all times, or messaging your loved ones to check on you.
That is not protection, or love, it’s control and possession. His need to make sure you’re not crossing any lines he’s worried about shouldn’t come above your right to privacy and independency.
A Good Man Would Never Invalidate Your Feelings
You will always be entitled to your feelings, no matter how small, or insignificant they may seem to him. A good man would never dismiss your feelings for being dumb, insecure, or unfounded. Denying you your feelings is a sign of his inability to take accountability and selfish ego. It shows that he would rather avoid apologizing than take interest in how you feel and how his actions or words can affect you.
No matter how trivial the issue may be, a person who cares about you and is good is able to put aside how they view the problem to feel empathetic to the way that you perceive it instead.
A Good Man Would Never Fight Dirty
A good man would never use manipulation or deceit to turn the tables on you. A good man doesn’t simply shift the blame and constantly justify his actions, no matter how toxic. A good man doesn’t resort to calling you names, yelling, or making you feel bad about yourself just to gain power over you and win a fight. He doesn’t pick apart your looks or diminish your accomplishments.
A good man makes his arguments heard then listens to yours. He knows how to reach a compromise and apologize when an apology is due. He puts his ego aside to make sure that conflicts are resolved fairly and without constant escalation.
A Good Man Would Never Make You Prove Yourself
A good man recognizes your value and your worth from the moment he meets you. He knows that your value existed long before he met you. He doesn’t make you feel like his love has to constantly be earned, and only if you deserve it. A good man never gets you to a place where you question your own worth. He doesn’t make you prove yourself to him.
He feels lucky to have you as you are. He doesn’t try to change you or isolate you. He doesn’t have a set of expectations that he holds you to in fear that you will disappoint him and reap his wrath.
A Good Man Would Not Make You Feel Alone In The Relationship
A good man makes you feel seen. He reminds you of what a catch you are even long after you meet. He knows when and how to prioritize you. He gives you enough attention that you feel like you matter to him. A good man would never withhold affection as a means of punishing you.
A good man understands the importance of showing up, of keeping up with dates, of remembering anniversaries, and of spoiling you every once in a while. He understands that relationships are all about equal give and take, and he’s willing to put in the effort to give his fair share.
A Good Man Would Never Make You Feel Stuck
The reality of even the most toxic relationships is that many couples stay within them way longer than they should, even when they feel like they’re losing themselves and their happiness. The reason often explained is that they felt stuck. They felt like they couldn’t walk away without it being a big fight, and potentially losing everything that they had.
A good man would never put you in a position of all or nothing. A good man only wants you to stay if you’re truly happy and accepts your decision to walk away. He doesn’t guilt you into staying or get mad at you for it.
So How Can You Really Tell The Difference?
In any relationship, always look at how you feel and ask yourself: does this person make you love yourself more? Do you want to grow old with them?
Should you be in the midst of a divorce or contemplating divorce, contact the Law Offices of Renee Lazar at 978-844-4095 to schedule a FREE one hour no obligation consultation.