Why Do Massachusetts Narcissists Try to Control Everybody and Everything?

by | Jul 3, 2023 | Divorce |

Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of empathy towards others.

Individuals with narcissistic traits often exhibit a strong desire for control, seeking to dominate and manipulate those around them.

In this article, we will explore the underlying reasons why narcissists feel compelled to control everybody and everything in their lives.

Understanding Narcissism

Before delving into the reasons for their controlling nature, it is crucial to understand narcissism itself. Narcissists often have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, believing they are superior to others.

They constantly seek admiration and validation to maintain their fragile self-esteem. Moreover, they lack empathy, struggling to understand or connect with the emotions and experiences of others.

The Narcissist’s Need for Control

One of the primary reasons narcissists attempt to control everybody and everything is their fear of vulnerability. Beneath their seemingly confident facade lies deep-seated insecurity. They employ control as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from potential threats to their fragile ego.

Fear of Vulnerability

Narcissists harbor an intense fear of being exposed or humiliated. They perceive vulnerability as a weakness, which can shatter their carefully constructed image of grandiosity.

To avoid this perceived threat, they attempt to control their environment and the people within it, ensuring that they are always perceived in a positive light.

Inflated Ego and Grandiosity

Narcissists possess an inflated sense of self-importance, believing they are unique and deserve special treatment. They view themselves as superior beings and expect others to cater to their needs and desires. The need for control stems from their desire to maintain this inflated ego and uphold their grandiose self-image.

Manipulation and Power Dynamics

Control is a crucial element in the manipulation tactics employed by narcissists. By exerting control over others, they gain power and dominance in relationships.

They use manipulation techniques such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional blackmail to maintain control and ensure compliance from those around them.

Emotional and Psychological Manipulation Tactics

Narcissists are adept at manipulating the emotions and thoughts of others to serve their own agenda.

They exploit insecurities, play mind games, and create a sense of dependency to keep their targets under their control.

These manipulative tactics further reinforce their perceived superiority and allow them to maintain their position of power.

Need for Validation and Attention

Narcissists crave constant validation and attention from others. They use control as a means to ensure that they are always the center of attention and that their needs are prioritized.

By manipulating and controlling others, they create an environment where their desires and wants take precedence over anyone else’s.

Lack of Empathy

Empathy is a fundamental aspect of healthy relationships. However, narcissists lack this crucial trait. They struggle to understand and connect with the emotions of others, focusing primarily on their own needs and desires.

This lack of empathy makes it easier for them to control and manipulate those around them without regard for the emotional consequences.

Projection and Blaming Others

Narcissists often project their own insecurities, flaws, and negative traits onto others. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and instead shift the blame onto those they seek to control. By doing so, they can manipulate the narrative and maintain control over the situation.

Emotional and Psychological Impact on Others

The constant need for control and manipulation takes a toll on those entangled with narcissists’ emotional and psychological well-being.

Victims may experience anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and a loss of personal autonomy. The cycle of control can be challenging to break free from, leading to long-term emotional trauma.

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Control

Escaping the clutches of a narcissist’s control requires a deliberate effort. Setting clear boundaries and asserting one’s independence is essential. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can provide the necessary tools and guidance to break free from the toxic cycle.

Setting Boundaries and Seeking Support

Establishing firm boundaries is crucial when dealing with narcissists. Clearly communicating one’s needs, asserting personal autonomy, and refusing to tolerate manipulative behavior can help regain control over one’s life. Seeking support from trusted individuals or therapists can provide valuable guidance and validation throughout the healing process.

Recovery and Healing

Recovering from the effects of narcissistic control takes time and self-care. Engaging in therapy, practicing self-compassion, and surrounding oneself with healthy relationships are vital steps towards healing. By focusing on personal growth and regaining a sense of self-worth, individuals can rebuild their lives after experiencing the damaging effects of narcissistic control.


Narcissists’ intense need for control stems from their fear of vulnerability, inflated ego, and manipulative tendencies. Their desire to maintain power and dominance over others fuels their controlling behavior.

Recognizing the dynamics at play and taking proactive steps towards breaking free from their influence is essential for healing and regaining personal autonomy.

Should you be in the midst of a divorce or contemplating divorce, contact the Law Offices of Renee Lazar at 978-844-4095 to schedule a FREE one hour no obligation consultation.

This article was written by AI.

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